The Godsey Science Center shines like a beacon on the research side of campus. All straight lines and glass—it’s a beautiful testament to Mercer’s development as an institution.

Too bad it’s already falling apart.

According to students Jolene Waters and Macey Chapman, a large chunk of the ceiling in a GSC classroom fell on them while completing a lab report.

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“It was completely out of nowhere,” Waters said.

Aside from some minor injuries, the girls said they were okay.

A similar incident occurred a few days later when a piece of the ceiling fell on an unsuspecting male student in a bathroom stall.

“I was just sitting there reflecting on my day—and playing Clash of Clans—and suddenly things are falling, and I’m covered in dust and ceiling stuff, in places where I definitely don’t want any of that,” the student (who requested to remain anonymous) said.

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Unfortunately, due to the size and angle of the falling pieces, the student was pinned into place. He was stuck until some of the male professors were able to take the stall door off its hinges and extract the student.

Aside from minor injuries, the student said he is okay.

But it isn’t just that the ceiling is falling. According to sources within Counseling and Psychological Services, an unprecedented number of students are coming to CAPS with GSC induced night terrors.

Several students have experienced vivid nightmares and delusions of seemingly infinite hallways. After doing some research, the counselors think that the bizarrely constructed hallways in GSC, which make a slight V-shape and give the impression of an endless hallway, are to blame.

“At a time in the semester where their stress is already incredibly high, they’re constantly checking overhead to see if something is going to fall on them, while also feeling like the hallway they’re walking in is never going to end. They feel trapped,” Sherry Feels said.

Feels said that when these symptoms are combined with test anxiety and other pre-existing conditions, the effects can be very dangerous.

“Don’t be afraid to ask for help,” Feels said.

If you or someone you know is suffering from any of these symptoms, contact CAPS at 478-301-2862  to make a free, confidential appointment with a licensed counselor.

Note: This is a satirical piece produced by the Cluster team in honor of April Fools Day. Thanks for reading!