How to break New Year’s Resolutions

January: the ideal time of year for anyone who owns a gym. Indeed, as the new year begins, people make all sorts of resolutions to better themselves in some way. In the end, most people end up forgetting all about their promise and vow to try again the next year. Better yet, why not intentionally break your resolution and watch it burn in a blaze of glory? Here are a few tips to get the most out of your New Year’s Resolution rebellion!
1. Tell Everyone About Your Resolution
The first thing you can do to break your resolution is blab about it to everyone. Facebook your weight loss goal! Tweet your promise to keep your dorm clean! If anyone still uses MySpace, tell Tom how you plan to be kinder to people! If you tell everyone your resolution, odds are they will congratulate you and wish you good luck on your journey. The satisfaction of their approval will be more than enough to convince you not to actually go through with your resolution. Who needs a New Year’s Resolution anyway when you have loads of people on social media outlets complimenting you? If you keep it to yourself, you will actually have to go through with your resolution to get any sort of enjoyment or purpose out of life, and who would want to do that?
2. Constantly Surround Yourself With Resolution Reminders
Are you resolving, like many people in 2013, to lose weight? A good way to make sure that does not happen is to always have your favorite snack nearby. At the slightest inclination of hunger you will immediately reach for that candy bar. Living a long, healthy life is for old people. 
Is your resolution to be more organized? Throw homework, projects and other papers all over your room. There is no greater reminder to stay clean than a pile of organic chemistry homework all over the floor.
3. Do Your Resolution By Yourself
Who needs friends? You are a strong individual who needs no one! Trying to keep a resolution with other people will only make you actually commit to it, thanks to their push. They do not even have to be trying to keep the same resolution, but as long as you and your friends are checking in on one another results will come. Instead, try doing everything on your own! Extra motivation is for quitters!
You can try to keep a New Years resolution like everyone else or you can join me in resolving not to have one at all. Which means we would have a resolution…
On second thought, maybe trying to stick to a New Years resolution is not such a bad idea. I can save money on stretchy pants.