If you were not already aware, the month of February is National National Awareness Month Awareness Month: a rather redundant title, but wonderfully so.
Now, if you are like me, you are probably asking yourself, “What does National National Awareness Month Awareness Month even mean?”
To put it simply, the month of February is a time where we become aware of what we are supposed to be aware of during each month of the year. Does that explanation make sense? Yes? Good. There is a multitude of various things we should be aware of during any given month. That being said, I take it upon myself to raise awareness of a select few that many may not already know about.
In January, become aware of National Stalking Awareness Month. You’ve got your crazy scary stalkers that wander around the world following people. You also have your (we’d like to think) not so crazy-scary Facebook stalkers. Let’s be serious, we all have our Facebook stalking moments. I bet half of your Facebook friends are there because “their lives are so interesting” and you couldn’t possibly delete them.
February brings us National National Awareness Month Awareness Month as well as Return Shopping Carts to the Supermarket Month and Spunky Old Broads Month. February is awesome.
In March, it’s Caffeine Awareness Month. Don’t be afraid to pump up with the caffeine. You have until October before you are aware of a caffeine addiction. Also, it’s Vulva Health Awareness Month. Your vulva’s health deserves your awareness. (Now how you go about taking care of your vulva is completely up to you. I don’t need to know.)
April is Couple Appreciation Month. Appreciate your loved one during this month. All other months are completely optional. It’s also Straw Hat Month. Wear your straw hat like a champ, all month long!
Lupus Awareness Month takes place in May. In the words of Dr. Gregory House, “It’s never Lupus.”
I’ve heard that the best reading is done while sitting on the pot. Try it out for yourself during Bathroom Reading Month, which takes place in June.
Get Ready for Kindergarten Month in August. Kindergarten awareness? I could definitely get on board. It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. Kind of like college. Planning a class schedule around napping and eating and getting grumpy when one or both of those things fall through? I’m telling you, one in the same.
The month of September brings us Mold Awareness Month. It’s also Mushroom Month, a little redundant, but nowhere near as redundant as National National Awareness Month Awareness Month. September is also Shameless Promotion Month. I encourage each and every one of you to get out there, make those shameless plugs! No reason to be ashamed during a month where you are supposed to become aware of such things.
October brings us Caffeine Addiction Recovery Month, just in time to nip in the bud that bad habit you picked up back in March.
October is also National Pizza Month. Did you know that a few months ago Congress passed the law to make pizza a vegetable? Well now you do. You’re welcome.
JANUARY:
Geek Appreciation Month
FEBRUARY:
Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month
MARCH:
Endometriosis
Awareness Month
APRIL:
Jazz Appreciation Month
MAY:
Cystic Fibrosis
Awareness Month
JUNE:
Gay/Lesbian Pride Month
JULY:
National Tickling Month
AUGUST:
Spinal Muscular Atrophy Awareness Month
SEPTEMBER:
Hispanic Heritage Month
OCTOBER:
Vegetarian Awareness Month
NOVEMBER:
Adoption Awareness Month
DECEMBER:
Safe Toys and Gifts Month
